Monday, April 18, 2011


So I've decided to start doing this again what with graduation looming somewhere over the horizon and me heading out into the great wide-open (by which I mean a hovel in my parent's basement). Existential crises abound! But enough about that, I am too busy to worry.

Namely with Hamlet, seeing as it's equally existential and much more immediate. We have started blocking in the Hatlen and are making our way through, one scene at a time. I've reached the point in the process that I now realize is not strange because it happens to me at least once in every process. The one where I realize I have no idea what I'm doing and fall into despair. Or at least mild irritation. I can just tell that my character isn't filled out enough, so when we get to the more hot 'n' heavy scenes I can't really get to the place I need to be to make it real, so I end up pushing and it's forced and painful for everyone involved. Time to do some more homework, clearly.

Domonique is a lovely assistant director, however, and sometimes painfully honest, just when I need it. I know I can trust her to tell me if I'm being silly or if I'm moving around the stage like a mannequin with particularly good diction. That is a huge relief, since realistically we have so little time to put up this enormous play and we're all beginning to wear thin at the edges.

But then, it's Shakespeare. So that's lovely and if I get sad I still get to say beautiful things and hear other people say beautiful things. Also my costume is incredibly kick-ass. Gorgeous red gown with gold accents. I knew I'd squeeze a gown out of this department before I left.

I hope I get over the self-doubt soon. I've only got a little more time here, and I want to enjoy it as much as I can.


  1. For those not entirely in the know: Emily is cast as Gertrude in the UCSB production of Hamlet, which plays the last two weeks in May. Two weeks after that, she graduates with a BFA in Acting.

    Further, she is a total rockstar.

  2. Wow, Em.... this is great. thanks for your great writing, and thanks, Karen, for posting the link. I recently found the greatest photo of you holding up a self portrait that looks just like you! Anyhoo.... enjoy these last weeks of school/life/drama!!